


Blood and Consciousness

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV), Merlin - Fandom
Genre: "I didn't know I was pregnant", A little Pining Arthur, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childbirth, Consensual Infidelity, Endgame Merlin/Arthur, F/M, Hurt Merlin, M/M, Mpreg, Past Arthur/Gwen - Freeform, Pining Merlin, Poor Merlin, Surprise pregnancy, pregnant!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 08:48:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6277735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a wedding feast happening while Merlin was giving birth to the king's bastard child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood and Consciousness

**Author's Note:**

> MORE MPREG! WOOO! This one's a little angsty and has some Arwen but not to worry! It has a happy ending!

Tonight, Camelot thrived in success and happiness. King Arthur married Guinevere, a former maidservant who was now Queen of Camelot. The feast was marvelous. There was dancing, music, merry chatter and laughter. The King and Queen were a handsome sight, both with wide smiles as they basked each other with love.

But not everyone is enjoying the banquet. One young warlock suffers alone in a dark corner, away from the celebration. He doesn't suffer because his beloved King married his former best friend. He suffers physically.

Merlin screams go unheard. While Camelot celebrates the King's marriage, he's squirming on the floor and begging for his hurt to stop. He feels something writhe inside him accompanied by sharp pains that make him see black spots. He scratches at the hard, unforgiving floor beneath him and looks up at the ceiling with tears streaming down his pale cheeks. He begs out loud and sobs. “Please stop! Oh gods, please make it stop!” It has been hours since Merlin excused himself during the handfasting. He was stuck and alone and tired and it hurt so much.

Merlin should have told Gauis. The pain started off as just a small twinge. Then as the day went by, his stomach grew more and more restless. He thought that was just him hurting because of Arthur's marriage but now he knew it was much more than that. Then the handfasting came. His stomach was rebelling against him but he ignored it. Then he felt his breeches go wet. He had blushed and excused himself a little earlier. And just as everyone was going to the feast, he felt the most pain he had ever felt in his life. He fell on his knees, he was too weak to stand.

That's why he was where he was now. He didn't understand what was happening, but he just wanted it to be over. Was this destiny somehow punishing him? He didn't get it. He wanted Gauis. He wanted Arthur. Merlin screamed. He wanted the thing out. He decided to take matters into his own hands. He raised his tunic to look at his belly. It was bloated and wet with sweat. He placed a trembling hand over the little dome only to draw it back quickly. Something moved inside him. He stared wide-eyed in horror as he saw a tiny outline of a foot. What the hell was that?!

He felt as if something zapped at his brain. Merlin screeched. “Ow, fuck!” Then he heard a far-off baby's cry. For a moment, Merlin stopped. A baby? He felt the pain in his stomach grow more insistent. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear a tiny heartbeat.

A heartbeat.

There was no way....

Merlin knew what he had to do now, though it was still very unbelievable.

Merlin took off his pants and underthings then started pushing. He felt the tendons of his neck tighten painfully as he pushed the being out of his body. It didn't happen immediately. It was an extremely slow and horrible progress. But eventually, his pains came to an end. With one final push, Merlin released the being from inside. He immediately heard high-pitched squalls. Merlin lied on the floor panting, tired from his efforts. He felt so weak and there was a dull ache in his nether regions. He could feel his thighs were wet with something warm and thick. He was too scared to see the damage that had been done, damage that should have not happened to his male body. The creature making such unholy noises demanded to be looked after. Merlin attempted to sit up but his bottom hurt too much. Instead he reached for the creature in an awkward angle.

When he first touched it he withdrew his hand. It felt soft and slimy. Merlin looked at his fingertips and saw them red. Again, he reached for the thing with both hands. He felt disgusted at the texture and stink. He raised the wriggling little creature and placed it on his chest. The thing finally stopped screaming. It's squalls turned to soft whimpers. Merlin shifted so that he was against the wall. He looked at the creature for the first time.

It was puny and soaked in red. It had a small patch of hair that was stained with blood. It's eyes were swollen shut and it's small mouth was searching for something to feed off of.

The thing was a baby. An actual baby that had come out of his very male body. Merlin looked at the baby's genitals. He had given birth to a little boy. The baby started to mouth at Merlin's clothed chest. Merlin unlaced his shirt and allowed the babe to feed. That explained why he had such sensitive nipples and why he would sometimes wake up with his shirt wet. Merlin stroked the baby's dirty head. He touched his own bottom and winced in pain when he felt the damage. He tried to heal it but he was too weak. He could feel himself start to black out. The baby, sensing his mother's state, started bawling again. Merlin slowly drifted into unconsciousness. He heard crackling and he felt the heat. The baby screamed louder and a fire started to engulf the corridors. Merlin was too weak to stop it. His eyes closed and his body went lax.

* * *

 

“Put out the fires, now!” shouted a voice over the cries of a baby. Merlin felt himself being picked up. He snuffled and tried to lean away from the hard and uncomfortable armor.

“Merlin, don't move too much or I might drop you and the baby.” said a softer voice. Merlin groaned. Who was that? What baby? The baby in question quieted his screams into whimpers. Then Merlin remembered: he had given birth.

“Hurts....” Merlin whined against the chest he was burrowed into.

“I know. I'm taking you to Gauis. His quarters aren't burned. We found out just on time.” said the voice. Merlin focused his blurry vision. He couldn't see much, but he caught a hint of a scratchy beard.

“G-Gwaine...” Merlin said. Gwaine chuckled a little dryly.

“The one and only. Now, hush and rest.”

Merlin did just that.

* * *

 

Arthur watched the babe with extreme fascination. It looked much cuter now that it wasn't covered in blood and mucus. It was also cuter when it wasn't crying it's lungs off. The babe was asleep now peacefully, wrapped in blankets and resting on a comfy basket. Arthur stroked a hand over his mouth and sighed. What the hell did this baby mean? It was blonde-haired and pale skinned with the oddest ears. He found it bloody and held by a passed out Merlin. If he didn't know any better, he would have said that the baby came _out_ of Merlin. But he knew that was ridiculous. Merlin was a man. And besides, he didn't even look pregnant before.

But there was evidence that Merlin was actually it's maternal parent. For one thing, Merlin was out like a candle and damaged...down there. Another thing, the umbilical on the baby was connected to Merlin. Even Gauis confirmed his suspicions quite bluntly and told Arthur that Merlin had given birth to a baby, despite being male. Was this the work of his magic?

The young King knew all this, yet couldn't accept it. Merlin could not have given birth to a baby. Then there was that nagging in the back of his mind telling him that this baby was most definitely his. He had sex with Merlin the night he banished Gwen. The timing was right too. Merlin had given birth nine months later.

How cruel fate was. The day Arthur married was the day his son was born.

Arthur didn't know what to do. He was a father and he was a husband. What would he do with the baby? With Merlin? He couldn't bear to turn them away like his father did to Morgana, that ended very badly. But he couldn't bear to tell Gwen the truth. Their marriage would be ruined.

* * *

  
The second time Merlin woke up, it was the evening of the next day. He sat up groggily and was relieved that his bottom no longer ached as much as it did before. He was trying to get out of bed when the door opened to reveal Gwaine. The knight's eyes widened then he shouted for Gauis and Arthur. Merlin was shocked. Arthur was here too? Merlin winced. He hoped Gwen was okay with her new husband just leaving her for his manservant.

And where the hell was his baby?

Oh gods, the baby!

Merlin started to panic. “My baby! Where's my—” He stopped midway when Arthur entered the small room with a babbling little bundle held in one arm. Merlin felt his blood freeze. _“Okay. Keep calm. There's no way Arthur knows that's his son he's holding.”_ Merlin thought. But the grave look on Arthur's face told him nothing good was going to happen.

“Merlin, we need to talk.” Uh-oh. Merlin gulped nervously. What if Arthur took the baby from him? What if he banished him?

“Um...okay.” Merlin tried to play it casual as if everything was normal. “What do you want to talk about?” Arthur sat next to Merlin. The baby cooed and stretched his arms towards Merlin but Arthur held him stubbornly. To Merlin, this wasn't a good sign.

“Merlin...” Arthur started. Merlin's heart was pounding wildly. He was terrified of what would happen next. “Am I the father of this baby?” he asked softly. Merlin was already forming the word 'no' but then he saw Arthur's face—his blue eyes watery and big with anticipation. He didn't have the heart to lie to him. Merlin sighed inwardly and answered, “Yes.” Arthur doesn't look very shocked. In fact, he looked like he came in terms with having a child. Arthur nods once, then finally hands over the babe to Merlin. Merlin clutches the little body and curls into it possessively, away from Arthur. The king tries to get Merlin's attention but the pale man won't look at him in the eye.

Now what? What would the birth of a son, the son of a newly married King, mean? Merlin wanted to laugh cruelly. Arthur had an heir a day after his marriage. An illegitimate heir. The realization sunk in. Arthur had a bastard. He could see two potential futures for the babe and none of them were happy. One, the babe would grow up without a father, just like Merlin or two, the babe would grow without knowing he is the King's firstborn and potential heir to the throne. Merlin feared the second option immensely. What if his son turned out to be just like Morgana?

“What's his name?” Arthur interrupted his thoughts. Oh crap. Merlin hadn't even named his son yet.

“Um...I haven't actually named him.” replied Merlin sheepishly. Arthur made 'tsk' sound.

“Merlin...” he said in his familiar pratty tone. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Well, sorry, sire. I guess I was too shocked that I had a son to begin with.” he said. Arthur didn't laugh this time. Merlin looked at him worriedly. The King had a soft look on his face.

“We should name him then.” he said.

“I guess so... I like...John.” Arthur made a face. Merlin frowned. “What?” he asked.

“Too common.” Arthur said.

“Ugh, fine. What do you suggest, _sire?”_

“Constantine?”

“Lord, no.”

“Uther II?

Merlin glared at him.

“Fine...Arthur II?”

“N-O.”

“You're so picky.” Arthur muttered under his breath. “How about...Pedr?” Merlin considered the last name.

“Okay. Pedr. Little Pedr.” he said then smiled lovingly at the baby.

“Merlin.” The warlock jolted when Arthur touched his shoulder. “Please, look at me.” Merlin reluctantly met eyes with his King. “I've come to a decision.” Oh no. Here it came. Merlin had to beat him to it before he said anything. Just as Arthur was opening his mouth, Merlin said, “I'm leaving.” Arthur stared at Merlin.

“What?” he exclaimed.

“I said I'm leaving.” Merlin repeated. “And I'm taking my baby.”

“No.” Arthur said. Merlin was fearing for the worse again.

“Arthur you can't take my baby from me.” Merlin flared up defensively.

“Merlin, I'm not going to take him away from you. You think I'd want to look after a magical baby alone? Especially after that fire he started?” Arthur stroked his son's blonde fuzzy head.

“How do you know he started the fire?” Merlin asked the young king.

Arthur met gazes with Merlin. “After...our night together....you told me you're the most powerful warlock to live. And you also told me that ever since you were a baby you started fires. I don't think you would have been in any state to start a fire... But a panicking newly born baby seeing his mother looking like death...” Merlin stared down at the innocent baby gurgling around his fingers happily. “I want you to stay, Merlin. I want to raise our son together.” He was glad that Arthur was accepting their son but...this would get in the way of things.

“Arthur...you have no idea how happy I am right now. But this can't happen. You're married now.” he said sadly.

“But I—”

“Arthur.” Merlin said seriously. He placed his hand over Arthur's. “It's okay.” he gave him a watery smile. “I appreciate the effort but this can never happen. That night was a mistake.” It hurt Merlin to admit those words as well as the next he was going to say. “You were grieved because of Morgana bewitched Gwen and I was willing to let you use me to forget. And now everything is okay again. You finally have what you've been longing for—a loving marriage and the queen you've always wanted.” The baby gurgled in between them. “Maybe this is destiny punishing me from straying from my path.” he said to himself more than to Arthur. “I should of kept my feelings to myself.”

Merlin was convinced that he had to leave, that destiny was telling him to go. Arthur was surprised Merlin would ever say those words to him. Now he knew how Merlin felt the morning after their love-making. Though he was angry that Merlin called their son a punishment.

“Our son is not a punishment.” he said. “What if this was meant to happen? What if our son was meant to be the next greatest king? Or what if he is meant to stand next to my.... _legitimate_ heir to advise him or her?” Merlin winced. He knew it was expected of Arthur to have an heir but he didn't like thinking about it. Now that Arthur was admitting it...

“No.” Merlin said harshly. “I won't have my son having to watch his brother or sister be favored and treated like royalty while he's treated like dirt. I won't have him asking me 'why doesn't daddy see me that often?' or 'how come daddy is married to someone else?' No, damn it, _no.”_ Merlin panted after his rant. God, he needed to get that out. He knew his eyes were wet with unspilled tears. “I rather have him live without knowing that his father is the fucking King of Camelot.” Now, Arthur was angry.

“So you'll just lie to him?” he snapped.

“It's better than him being worth nothing in the eyes of the court and being called a bastard his whole life.” Merlin replied just as hotly. “I don't want him to suffer.” he added more softly. _“I don't want my son to turn into Morgana. I don't want him to grow to hate you and plot to kill you.”_

Merlin didn't realize he was crying until Arthur reached out to brush his tears away. “I'd never let that happen.” he said. Merlin scoffed.

“Uther would have never allowed Morgana to have magic and yet, she still has it.”

“The future isn't set in stone.” Arthur said.

“I won't take the risk. Not when it comes to him.”

“But what about your this destiny of yours to protect me? Whatever happened to 'I'll be happy to serve you until the day I die'?”

“I will protect you but from afar. I'll keep tabs on you to make sure you're safe.” 

Arthur sighed. “Merlin...you can't just leave. After all we've been through?" Merlin ignored the last part in favor to himself.

"Yes I can. I may serve you, but Escetir will always be my birth home. I have every right to leave."

"You're really want to leave, then?” he asked in a resigned tone. Merlin nodded. “Alright.” he said. “Go.”

* * *

 

Merlin said his good-byes to Gauis. The old man hugged him tightly and made him promise to write. Merlin couldn't bear to look at Gwen so he did his best to avoid her. He was also afraid she would suspect of her husband's fling with him. But he did manage to run into Arthur. The King actually looked sad that he was leaving, something Merlin didn't think he would ever see to be honest. He knew they were friends and that Arthur held him dear to some level, but he didn't think Arthur would express himself. He was even more surprised when Arthur drew him close to a hug. It made Merlin think he should of threatened to leave more often in the past.

The warlock drew back from the hug when Pedr started wriggling between them. Arthur smiled at the baby and stroked his plump cheek. His smile started to fade. “What's wrong?” Merlin asked in worry.

“I don't want you to leave.” Arthur admitted.

“I know. But it's for the best. Goodbye, Arthur. It has been an honor serving you.”

“Goodbye, Merlin....and I'm sorry, for everything I've put you through.”

“I know.”

* * *

 Three years passed since Merlin departed from Camelot. Pedr had grown into a wonderful little boy. His hair was a brilliant shade of blonde that reminded Merlin so much of his father. He also had Merlin's ears, unfortunately. But unlike Merlin, Pedr was free to use his magic to his little heart's content. Merlin had moved back to Ealdor to his mother. But he quickly realized Pedr needed space so he moved into a cottage hidden in the forest where only his mother knew where he lived. He no longer knew anything of Camelot. He stopped asking how things were going after Arthur lifted the ban of magic.

Camelot didn't need him anymore. Neither did Arthur. And frankly, Merlin didn't want to know what was happening anymore. He was just glad Arthur was safe, happily married and probably with children of his own by now. Merlin still felt the bitter ache of one-sided love in his heart when he thought of Arthur but it wasn't as bad as it used to be. Pedr had dulled the pain and loneliness.

“Mummy!” squealed a voice. Merlin smiled widely when he saw Pedr running his way with fistfuls of flowers. He put his hands to his knees and hugged his son when he was close enough. When Pedr withdrew he presented the slightly crushed daisies. “I brought you flowers, mummy!” At first, Merlin was a little miffed Pedr took a liking to calling him 'mummy' but the boy was stubborn and wouldn't call him anything else, much to the delight of Grandma Hunith.

“Did you? Oh, these are so pretty, my sweet boy!” Merlin said. “Put them on me.” Pedr arranged the daisies on Merlin's curls. “How do I look?” Merlin asked.

“You look pretty!” Pedr giggled and hugged Merlin's neck. Then he felt the boy stiffen.

“What's wrong, little wizard?” he asked his son. Pedr stared ahead of him and pointed. Merlin withdrew and stood up.

There stood a familiar broad figure. Merlin would recognize the man anywhere. It was Arthur, dressed as a humble pedestrian yet he still managed to look as impressive as ever. “Mummy, who is that man?” Pedr whispered.

“Pedr, go inside. Now.” Pedr didn't hesitate to obey. Arthur approached him slowly. Merlin stood his ground. When Arthur was close enough, he said, “What are you doing here?” Arthur grinned a little warily.

“Hello to you too, Merlin. It's been so long.” When Merlin didn't respond he decided to state his business. “I wanted to see you.” he said simply. He looked over Merlin's shoulder and saw a little blonde head and wide blue eyes peeking from the window. When Pedr found out he was caught, he dunked his head quickly. “And I wanted to see my son.”

“Don't you have some of your own children to look at?” Merlin scoffed. Arthur looked a little uncomfortable.

“Guinevere and I don't have children. We've tried but...nothing happens.”

And now, Merlin felt like a huge jerk.

“Oh. Arthur, I'm sorry. I didn't know.” Merlin apologized sincerely. “I know it must be hard for you.”

“We stopped now. I would never do what my father did to my mother.” Arthur said with a sad sigh.

“I know you wouldn't. You're nothing like him.” Merlin said. Then he started to understand why Arthur was really here (or thought he was here for).  “Wait, are you here to take him away?” Merlin asked. Arthur looked like he was slapped.

“What?! No! Merlin, I'm not taking Pedr away from you! I just...I just wanted to see him.” Arthur took a step forward with his arms raising to take Merlin in his embrace but the warlock quickly backed away. Merlin narrowed his eyes at him.

“Oh. I see how it is.” he said coldly. “Since Gwen can't come up with a brat, you're here settling for the spare!” Arthur frowned deeply.

“Damn it, Merlin! I'm not here to take him away!” Arthur shouted.

“Then why the hell are you here!? Did you really just spontaneously leave your kingdom just because you wanted to see him!?” Arthur grabbed his arms and started to shake him.

“YES!” Arthur screamed. Merlin promptly stopped talking after Arthur shouted his answer for the whole world to hear. He realized how close he and Arthur's faces were. The young King seemed to realize this too. He closed the distance between them and sealed it with a savage kiss. Arthur's hands were scrabbling to undo his laces and Merlin was clutching his head in his hands.

“GET AWAY FROM MY MUMMY!” screeched a young voice. And then Arthur found himself on his back from a magical outburst. Arthur sat up groaning. He stared dumbfounded at the little boy. Merlin gasped, “Pedr!” and then scooped him up. “Don't do that!” Merlin scolded.

“But he was hurting you!” Pedr said.

“It's okay. He wasn't. He was just...being a prat.” Merlin finished lamely. Pedr looked a little confused. Merlin rushed to Arthur with Pedr in his arms. He knelt down and placed the boy on his feet. “Holy...that was....gods, are you alright, Arthur?” This had to be the worst reunion ever. Arthur smiled a little dopily. Merlin wondered if Pedr had caused some brain damage.

“'M fine... Though...” Arthur looked at Pedr. “That was...impressive.” he said, not being able to conceal the obvious pride in his voice. Pedr beamed. Arthur had already won him over. Merlin was none too happy. Arthur noticed his grim expression. “Merlin, I'm not taking him away. I wanted to see my family.” Arthur said.

“We're not a family. As soon as you look at your son for all the time you liked, you'll leave and probably come back ten years later...or something."

“Who says I'm leaving?” Arthur said seriously. “Merlin, I want our son to have a happy life. I won't leave him. I promise.”

“Well, he's been doing pretty fine without you.” Merlin said. Arthur flinched.

“I want to be a part of his life. And...” Arthur shifted his feet. “I...I missed you.”

Merlin's expression softened. “I missed you too.” he admitted. He spent days longing for Arthur's presence. Hell, he even missed cleaning the stables for him. Arthur brightens up at Merlin's words. Arthur leans in and bumps his forehead against Merlin's.

“Let me stay.” Arthur whispers gently.

“That's up to you, really.” Merlin responds. Arthur spent the night in the little cottage. He finally got to really know his son. Merlin feared for the little boy. He didn't want Pedr to get too attached. He knew Arthur had a duty as a king. He knew he was going to leave eventually.

But he didn't. Arthur didn't leave. In fact, he settled right in. He made it his task to hunt and bring back meat for Merlin and Pedr to eat. He helped with the chores and even learned how to build and trade. He did “man's work” (as he called it because apparently Merlin was too girly and frail and should therefore do “women's work”). Merlin appreciated it (besides the fact he was called frail) but he didn't understand why Arthur was doing all of this instead of hurrying back to his luxurious castle.

And just as Merlin feared, Pedr became attached to Arthur. His first slip was calling Arthur “daddy”. This was what Merlin had been fearing. “No, Pedr. Arthur is not your—” Merlin started but was swiftly interrupted by Arthur.

“Yeah, I'm your daddy.” Arthur said with a wide smile. He even looked a little teary. Pedr squealed in delight and threw his arms around Arthur's neck. Merlin decided he had enough. He confronted Arthur.

Arthur was tucking in Pedr (something Merlin always did). He kissed his blonde locks and said good-night. He closed the door to the boy's room and almost bumped into Merlin.

“What game are you playing?” Merlin asked fiercely.

“What are you talking about? Game...?” Arthur asked, baffled.

“Why are you doing this? Playing house and acting like you don't have a care in the world while your kingdom needs you and your wife probably thinks you're dead!”

“I told you already, Merlin. I want to be with my family.”

“You have a duty.”

“Which is looking after my family.”

So it was like that, then.

“Is this what this is about? You feel guilty you literally fucked me over and got me pregnant? Well, I'm over it. So you can run along back to your precious castle. We're fine without you.” Merlin hissed. Arthur looked hurt but it wasn't because of Merlin's words.

“I really hurt you, didn't I?” Arthur said. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Did you not hear anything I just said? I'm. Over. It. I don't need you. He doesn't need you either. So get lost.”

“No.” Arthur said stubbornly.

“Damn it, Arthur! Why are you so....ugh!” Merlin made a frustrated noise and turned away. Arthur gently hugged his back.

“I'm here to stay, Merlin. I told you already.” He started kissing the back of his neck. Merlin slumped against him and let him. He was tired of fighting.

Arthur picked him up and took him to the bedroom. He lied Merlin down and undid his boots for him, then his neckerchief, and finally the laces of his pants. Then, Arthur undid his own boots and shirt and gathered Merlin over his chest. They fell asleep like that.

* * *

 

The next morning, Merlin woke up alone. Arthur was gone. And so was Pedr. Merlin cried until is chest hurt. He should of seen this coming. Arthur was trying to lure him into a sense of security, win his son over only to go back to Camelot with Pedr and leave Merlin alone. He had the heir he wanted and now he didn't have to worry about his power over the kingdom or his barren wife. Merlin didn't eat breakfast or get out of bed. He was too broken to move or even go on a rampage.

Then he heard Pedr squeals.

Merlin shot up from the bed and followed the noise. He heard Arthur's deep laugh. He saw two figures, their heads shining like the sun, walking hand in hand. Merlin was taken by the sight. Pedr noticed him first and ran towards him screaming. Merlin lifted him and realized he was a little wet. “Why are you wet?” Merlin asked him. Pedr's blue eyes were sparkling.

“Daddy was teaching me to swim!” Pedr giggled. Merlin looked at Arthur sharply.

“Arthur, you put him in danger! What if he drowned? He's only three!” Merlin said. Arthur, the oaf, only shrugged with a smirk.

“He's fine.” he said dismissively.

Merlin made Arthur give Pedr a warm bath since it was him who got him wet. When he was done, Pedr was exhausted from the swim. He took a nap in their bed. Merlin sat down on a chair to make more clothing for their rapidly growing son. Arthur's heart warmed at the domestic sight. He put is hands on his shoulders and started massaging him. “You're so tense. What happened to you? You used to be so care-free and...happy. I never see you smile anymore.”Arthur said into his ear. Merlin shivered.

“I am happy.” he grumbled.

“Merlin...” Arthur was more serious this time. “Did you think I left you and took our son?” Merlin stopped his work. His lack of response was Arthur's answer. “Merlin, I'm not going to leave you alone. Did you really think I'd do that to you?”

“You did that to Gwen and your people, didn't you? So why not to me?”

“My people are fine. They have a wonderful queen. As for Guinevere.... _she knows_.” Merlin's gaped. He whirled to face Arthur.

“What!?” he demanded.

“Shh, shh. Calm down... You'll wake the our son up.”

“Arthur.” Merlin growled.

“Be quiet and I'll tell you.” Arthur said.

Merlin was silent, so Arthur continued. “She was watching us that day.” Merlin knew what Arthur meant by 'that day'. “She saw the baby. And she noticed my behavior. She knew I missed you. I was a wreck and almost died on a daily basis without you. One day, I couldn't take it anymore and....I told her about our night together and about the baby we had.” he said. Merlin's hands tightened over the cloth he still had in his grip. God, Gwen must have felt horrible. He couldn't bear to imagine what she felt towards him and her husband. “She wasn't happy at first. Well, that's a bit of an understatement. She changed because of me. Her heart was like stone. She almost joined Morgana.” Merlin felt his heart break. Gwen must have really been angry if she almost had an alliance with Morgana. “But eventually, she accepted it. We talked. She told me what she thought and I told her what I thought. We came to an agreement. If Camelot ever needed me, I would go back.” he said. Merlin's heart clenched but was soothed when Arthur also added, “But not alone.” He stroked Merlin's jaw gently. Merlin leaned into his touch. “And after I'm not needed anymore, you and I would come back here. To our home.”

Merlin allowed Arthur to kiss him and take him to bed.

* * *

 

There came a time when Camelot needed Arthur and Merlin. It was the Saxons attacking Camelot. But Arthur didn't perish by Mordred's hand because Merlin was there with him the whole time. Morgana was slain by Merlin but by Arthur's sword. Arthur and Merlin arrived back to Camelot. Arthur said he wanted to say goodbye to Gwen and for a moment, Merlin feared he would lose him. But Arthur came back. He wrapped his arm around Merlin. “Let's go back home.” They arrived back to their cottage where their son was safe and sound with Hunith.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked :) And I'm actually working on a fem!Merlin/Gwen story but I'm not posting that one 'cause it's pretty fucked up. It has some non-consensual Merthur in it. 'Nuff said.


End file.
